Is it over this soon? The pictures that I took of you, Now they decorate the floor of my room, As I stare into computer screens and try to remember what I first saw in you, But secretly we knew this was a dream. But it frustrates me when I think, And think what might have been, And you know deep inside I think I still need you. I still go there in my head, To a world where I was never more sure, And now I see you together, And it reminds me for a fleeting moment, All the memories we had together, Where I looked at you, And you, you looked straight through. And I’d accept that I have lost, But that means that you won, And I’m just not comfortable with that outcome. Now you’ve lost a friend, a partner, Now you’ve lost a friend. And the repercussions paralysed me, For days on end I couldn’t eat, Like I saw something that turned me away, And turned you into something you were not, And turned you into another brother’s arms. What I wouldn’t give, And what I don’t even need to say, I really wish, really wish, For just one more day, or maybe four, Or maybe a score more. But if I pretend that I’m still satisfied, Would you take another look into my eyes? There’s something else, You know that I thought there was something else, Something else that I forgot to say. Now you’ve lost a friend…

You, you see, You’re not worth the effort Like a bursting flower, like a beating drum, It all collides into one, it all collides into one. Drifting back from the place Where you shunned me and drove your Knife into your burning chest, Citizen’s arrest. And you let your principles go, Just to stave off conflict, just to stave off the inevitable. Little did you know You were fuelling my fire, fuelling my wrath, that’s how it goes. And I pulled out all my stops, And I talked myself into corners, And paralysed, you see the skies Turn red, from Kharkiv to Kiev. And thinking back I regret All those hurtful things I said And I could change if you’d asked But you only pushed and pushed.

We’ll drive to paradise, Now the tide’s gone out and the weather’s nice We’ll drive to paradise, Hit the beach and set light to the effigies. The bodies of the past, And the elephants in the room. Where you once were black & white, Now you’re only black & blue. So pack your bags, let’s go, Put the windows down, it’s barely snowing, Looping the same CD That starts with Smiths and ends with Morrissey. What we’ll remember most Is how we never felt so far and yet so close, And as we pass Larne, I realise that we were never apart, As the sun beats down on our heads. And was it Cushendall, No, I swear it was Cushendun, Where we swam in from the coast, And came together to laugh at a statue of a goat Who’d died in a foot-and-mouth outbreak. What a funny thing to celebrate. But now he’d left us in the caves, You’d swear we were the only ones ever there. And as we navigate The serpent roads of Murlough Bay And step out into the air Could you imagine any greater fear Than leaping into the cold, cold sea Like I’m told every Stark would do effortlessly Yet it seems incomprehensible to me That the sea is the cause of all grief, And the sun beats down on our heads. And as we speed through every startled village And every cluster passing for a town Each identical in image But for the flags unfurling down From every window, every lamp post, Every raised voice, every breath, It strikes me that our smiles & treaties Like unsettled beneath the deaths. Oh, Antrim’s young, Thy will be done, ‘Til kingdom come, Oh, Antrim’s young. And even sturdy Carrickfergus Watching over the endless sea, You can’t avoid the burning feeling That the castle is crumbling under our feet. Though the orange king outside stands proud Proclaiming ideologies, You can’t swim over the sea so wide, And wings to fly? Don’t even dream. As the sun beats down on your head. And through the silent corridor All shrouded by the ancient trees, You wonder if their gnarled-up shapes Once stood up straight, unchained & free. But centuries of love & hate Shaved all the leaves of spring away And left you with a holy land That your neighbours always warned against. At Dunluce there’s that battered cliff Which we nearly ran our car straight off, Before we caught a glimpse, surprised, off-guard, Of a castle raised into the air, All perched on threats of invading armies And kept afloat by violent scenes Had left us with this brutal beauty, And I thought, if not here, then where? As the sun beats down our heads. We stood, By a statue of some Celtic God And looked out onto the last gasp of the Commonwealth, And beyond that the other side itself. And we gazed And not a single voice was raised And the songs and the screams suddenly seemed so small And I thought world peace was possible after all. Oh, Antrim’s young, Your change is gonna come. Oh, Antrim’s young, Your change is gonna come. Oh, Antrim’s young, Your change is gonna come. Oh, Antrim’s young, God be with you, every one. Tear down your father’s halls, They’re no good to you any more, Tear down these goddamn walls, Speak to the souls that you’ve ignored, And remember we’re all gods. Live your father’s dreams Of the united human being It’s your chance to bring the change you want to see, Oh be the change you want to see, Oh be the change you have to be. Yours is the kingdom and glory, Yours is the natural beauty, The friendly face, the painted town, I’ve seen you smile now, It cannot hurt to turn around. I love you Antrim, covered in gorse, My memories now will run their course Oh, let your memories do that too, Forget the things he said to you, You are the trees, you are the breeze, The castle, campsites, yellow, green, You’re here not to divide but be, Stretch out your arms and laugh with me, We’ll all be free, we’ll all be free, Be free, be free, be free, be free…

I rouse myself from slumber, and look out on the bay. You come up to my shoulder and give me a look as if to say: “You really should know better than to stay alone with me.” The elephants inside my stomach rear up in advance, Because it’s you, it’s always you, It’s always you and me when I want someone to be around. The promenade is heaving but I’ve only room for you. Your eyes flicker side to side; you notice that I’m breathing too. I can’t believe my mind can form a million words but none to say That I’m so glad to be alive, and glancing to my side to see, It’s you, it’s always you, It’s always you and me when I want someone to be around, So look around, This world is paradise for as long as I stick tight to you. It’s you, it’s always you, It’s always you and me when I want someone to be around, So look around, This world is paradise for as long as I stick tight to you. It’s always you, It’s always you and me when I want someone to be around, So look around, This world is paradise for as long as I stick tight to you. In the ocean in solemnness I bless you, That you should keep your honour and your word. For my intention is to live for your amusement, To be your circus, your trusted songbird. And as we look out over everything we’ve conquered, The Asian splendour and the misconstrued voice, I know it’s gone even further than I’d imagined. I know I love you; I know I’ve no choice. The moon is grey and heavy; it looks out on the bay. Its face stares back at mine and relinquishes my pain. In you I feed and nurture, and spill my share of hate, And drink my share of love, and give to you my fate. I want somebody to be around, You know I need somebody to be around…

Hush little darling, don’t say a word, Papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird, So throw your childish schemes away, Save tears for another day. Don’t be precocious, don’t be absurd, Pour all your love into the mockingbird, Teach him all your favourite songs, Disregard the one you strung along. Come dance, Minnaloushe, Join me in the throng, Without you, I’m failing, With you I belong. Hush little darling, don’t say a thing, Papa will make that mockingbird sing, His voice catches in his throat before, He fails to say, “I love you more.” Your hearts are tangled like headphones, I hear, My heart’s in the theatre where you left it, dear, Branded, emblazoned with a single word, While you tread on my dreams like a mockingbird. Come dance, Minnaloushe, Join me in the throng, Without you, I’m failing, With you I belong. Ah mockingbird, do you remember the time, You said your one love was for a different guy? I told you to gaze at him till you grew bored, You said you would only love him more. So hush little darling, don’t utter a sound, And if by chance, you see me around, Recall all of these words that I say, Spin round in your boots and swiftly walk away.

Perhaps I’m not meant for you, foreign lashed tongue of the East, You in your pink display; I in my English ways, But whisper my name Japan; I’m no longer young or naïve, Everything’s beautiful and I never want to leave, Good morning Matsue, it’s been so long I say, I can’t taste your waters my friend, but I can hear them play. So let me just tell you that I’ve never been so ecstatic, You’re blissful, you’re perfect, you’re joyous incarnate. Is this the land that I was meant to be born into? Cut me like sugar cubes, sprinkle me into you. For you are the country I’ll marry myself to, You are my everything; you are my rebirth. I am in love with the saviour of all humankind, I am in love with the damned of the throngs and the rows of the mind. I am in love with myself and with you and with the whole human life, But only surrounded by blossoms in spring can I truly come alive. So give me the means and I’ll captivate myself to the grave. Calm me with sedatives or fire me up like the braves. Japan, you’re my everything, and I need you to embrace me, And I wish that you’d see that I’m finally at home, I’m finally at home. I’m finally at home; I’m finally at home… Love is no obstacle, love is purely temptation, Love is fulfilment of everything you can’t explain’s right, Love is attending the ceremony of completion, You are my love and I never want to leave. Leave your temples and mountains impressive and meek, Or the strange shining customs that linger underneath, Or the business of life and metropolises wide, Be it Kobe or Kochi, Sendai, Sakai. And I’m longing to join you, to let myself breathe, I know that I’m happy and I know I believe, That everything’s beautiful and I never want to leave, I never want to leave you.

I hear voices, children playing, They think I’m lonely, I’m unloved. They couldn’t know half of the story, Couldn't imagine how I’m wronged. You’re so self-centred, so fucking vain, But then, why wouldn’t you be? And I am still captivated By the thought of you and me. Oh songstress, oh songstress, I told myself you were cruel, I guess I was lying, ‘cos I’m still waiting on you. Oh legend, oh life force, I’ve long given up hope, But you’ll always love me in the songs that I wrote.

Please take me home, I can’t face the night alone, Don’t want to be a statistic on some sad report. Because what you can’t see, Can only hurt you quicker, A blurred face or a bungled rape against the steel bridge wall. So count to ten and tell me you’d walk home again, And every bleary light seems to signal some other bloody end. And if I fell in the river I’d be thought of forever As some drunken teenager staggering unseen into some tragic end, And I ain’t touched a drop all night. And if I told you I loved you would you still walk away? And if I told you I cried for you as funeral ambulances took me away, Would you come and take me home? I’m a slow-walking spirit, Trying to find my way back home. But alone in the dark I make out your light. And I’m proud that I’m proficient at lying So many other people would die & be mourned, By some congregation who thought that they were… Good enough to die, Good enough to die there alone, A hole in our lives, And a cautionary tale to those who think they’re immortal. We’re not immortal, We’re not immortal. And I’m not strong enough to be that hero, I’m not brave to go it alone, my love, Come pick me up, out, into the light, And take me home…

Wish I was an apple pip You swallowed accidentally. I’d plant roots inside your belly, Grow tall so you might just notice me. I’m up and down, Top bottom strange and charm, I’m using juices up like batteries, Higher than the redwood tree, Just turn your face more toward me, I like the conversation, I like it more when we’re alone And you give more information, On how you may as well be one, And I may as well not be, And only then do I remember, That love is gonna is set you free. When I remember, That hallowed week so long ago, I don’t know how I cared so much, Or why it refuses to go, And lingering in my inner thoughts, The lies you’ll never see: You’ll forget her one day, Then love is gonna set you free. Can you hurry up and get married? Put all your worries in the bridal carriage. Get hitched in Japan and planning a baby, Stop leaving me on your ifs buts and maybes. It’s not like I wake every night for your touch, But I still go on waiting to see. Only then do I remember… And I’ve given up hoping for a change of heart, When fifty-six miles didn’t tear you apart, And whenever you look in my general direction, I’m not holding out for any greater affection. I know that I never stood a chance But tell that to the part of me That still believes Love is gonna come to me.

You won the battle; who won the war? What were we fighting for? The anti-venom, it worked at last, But only now I ask if it was poison on the first place. Your ex-boyfriend called you unique. That's one word I guess. Oh god, I'm a mess. I'm in love but I'm not very keen. I mean, I'm not committing yet. Oh god, I'm a mess. I play dumb when I just can't compete, Pretend I try my best. Oh god I'm a mess. I'm still crumbling under your feet. What do I have to say? I was never really looking anyway.

Realistically, it could have ended whenever, The storms I’d tempered and the seasons I’d weathered, And how could we claim that we could love forever, When we loved what killed us not what brought us together? And although I wake up in the deadest of nights, Wondering why your body isn’t draped across mine, I think in the long run that we’re both doing fine, Just a shame that we wasted so much time. And all my friends agree this is another century of broken hearts. You would be infernal, even frightfully loud, If ever you’d thought of something to talk about, Instead you looked frightened just to open your mouth, So I’ll find someone else to be around. Still life seems that much colder and I’m still not sure I’m over us apart, And anyone can see this is another century of broken hearts. And it’s all greyscale, And it’s all white noise, And it’s all white noise. And it’s all greyscale, And it’s all white noise, And it’s all white noise. There was no rapture, no golden throne, Our similarities ended at being alone. But one month one and I’m still on my own, Now I wonder if I threw away love, And I haven’t seen a lover’s gaze, or looked upon a lover’s face but you, And any fool can see this is my dying century of solitude. And it’s all greyscale, And it’s all white noise, And it’s all white noise. When I am with you, It never gets better, Better than heaven.

Bet sir does a mean foxtrot, Why not show us some moves? Let’s forget the threat of war for a moment, And take time to recognise the good in everyone. You’ve got such pretty eyes, In the firelight they glisten like time-bombs. She whispered as she turned the other way, And took out a country with nuclear gaze. But she wasn’t really paying attention, I guess that’s why I fell in love. And in that she still owes me that seven pounds, I bet you’ll dance better than her, m’ludd. Maybe take a turn through the Garden of Eden, Just off the M1, past Watford Gap. Sample the airs of a simpler nation, Tell us to our faces we’re lesser than you. Mr. Speaker I’m dying to give you an answer, But I’m too cold and content To dance with you a triumphant tango, A tarantella built for two. She walked away that night safe in the knowledge, We’d be plotting another tally chart tonight, To mark another poor soul shunted, And it’s no one’s fault, and it’s nobody’s fault but mine. How can I fall out of love? How can I move my affections elsewhere? Perhaps Mr. Speaker would make that his agenda, If he wanted to know what I really cared for. She’s in conversation now, it suits her, She’s breaking a vow and taking a drag. I’ve no place to be a voyeur or accomplice, Just write me out of this time and this place. I’m dancing with Mr. Speaker. I’ve always been dancing to avoid the plague. But now I’m just dancing for today, For today to end.

It’s not that she’s tired of waking up, When the terrors from the night before come creeping through the open door, No, it’s not a pretence or pretend, It’s not a floodgate breached by the first person to cross her gaze. Natalie’s sure that she’s the one, Though she doesn’t like Scorsese films and rarely cries and hated Rome, There’s just something in her wavy hair, And in her smiling lullabies, and in the air and in the skies, And in those three sublime passionate nights, Where she whispered I was in love, Can’t tell you why or when it was, But it was and so it goes, And who am I to judge or argue? This is your story and your song; I only hope that the night gamble comes good and pays off. Natalie’s lost in a moment. She often wonders why she cries and why still can’t sleep at night. It’s not like still doesn’t feel wanted, And when she holds her close she feels so warm, and when they’re lost at dark, she is reborn, “Is this love?” she shouts in silence, “It doesn’t feel like a fairy-tale, though I don’t suppose I thought it would, It doesn’t play out like a Disney film, and I don’t think I could live without you, So what is it that does not feel right? Why can I still not sleep at night? Am I just used to lying with you? Am I bullied into being true? Or am I held to you for fear of solitude? Was I born to hide? Have I ever loved you?” And I’m not one to judge or argue, I’m not one to curse a confused soul, I only know that the night gamble has swallowed you whole.

This love won’t die… No matter how I try, This love won’t die. I have moved on, That is a lie. I have moved on, That is a lie. You’re off my mind, Now I’m good inside. You’re off my mind, But this love won’t die. This love won’t die… I begrudge you, That is a lie, I tell myself, To get me through life. You are a friend, You are a foe, You are my life, That I’ll never know. I love you, I love you, And I’ll move on some time. I love you, But I don’t need you, Like I used to. This love won’t die…

I meet you at the circus gates. My hands are shaking, Is this how I'm supposed to feel? Fear's not my only trait, Though I hide it well. Somewhere in my head is this spiel, That I wrote on the train on the way here, 'Bout how I'm funny and probably never here, And I'm strong, the protector, but how I reject all those masculine labels. But what's words over actions And here I'm collapsing And so it must be. Are you even here for me? I really wanna show you I can care, I really wanna show you I can be there, I really wanna prove to you that your feelings are safe with me. I've never been on a Ferris wheel before, That's why I'm leaning in Close to you, I'm terrified of heights. I just want something safe and warm, Some stronger person Who can bash the heads of criminals at night. And I suppose that's why I'm scared to tell you straight. It does not seem my right, it does not seem my place. I will serve you, not to the ends of the earth but to the end of yours. And I can't hold a house But I could be your mouse And I'd do that so well. Keep me safe from all worries when the world is all hell. I really wanna show you I can care, I really wanna show you I can be there, I really wanna prove to myself that my feelings are safe with you. I always felt like the nurturer, Never did anything To further that displaced responsibility. Maybe I'm scared to admit it But can't escape That I thrive on protected tranquillity. If I were a man I would reach for your hand As the Ferris wheel took us calmly to land, But I am no man who can beg all he can to be loved. To be loved seemed so active, When I am retracting Into myself. And when you walked away, it could've been anyone else.