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1. |
First Signs
02:22
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The sky is sharp, and the time is now,
It doesn’t matter that it’s almost ran out.
I hear your voice, and the smile survives,
Through the screams and shouts you capitalize,
And I know it sounds crazy,
But I’m growing rather fond of you,
And I know there’s nothing you can do.
It feels deeper, but I don’t know how low,
And wherever you go, I can wait.
And I know it sounds crazy,
But I’m growing rather fond of you,
And I know there’s nothing you can do.
But it’s shocked you into silence,
And you know I feel strange.
But it’s creeping up inside of you,
I can wait, I can wait,
And I know it sounds crazy…
And I know it sounds crazy,
But I’m growing rather fond of you,
And I know there’s nothing you can do.
But it’s shocked you into silence,
And you know I feel strange.
But it’s creeping up inside of you,
I can wait, I can wait…
And I know it sounds crazy,
But I’m growing rather fond of you.
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2. |
Train to Peterlee
04:06
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Standing in the dark,
Giving off sparks,
Wondering if I’ve offended you.
And you told me on the ship
The word was on your lips,
I’ve never stayed awake long enough.
Bodies on the street,
Not enough to eat,
Scattered like a chain text,
Over all your friends.
Fire in my heart,
Slower at the start,
Counting down the days,
Till I see you again.
I believe in choice,
Freedom and a voice,
You told me I was wrong,
And to my fault I believed you.
I believed what you said,
But I wound up with someone else instead.
And the lights are shining out on me,
Shining through the windows,
Of the train to Peterlee.
And the lights are shining out on me,
Shining out on you,
And what wasn’t meant to be.
Elevated room,
Smelt of Scottish gloom,
Downed a PG Tips,
And started to sweat.
And when the air rushed out,
To your credit you snuck out,
But left me there,
Alone to suffocate.
And though the river’s warm,
And we’ve dived in it before,
And though you had a name once,
And though I thought you were mine,
This time,
I’ve no energy to fight,
Take the radio if you’re leaving,
It’s of no use to me now.
And the lights are shining out on me,
Shining through the windows,
Of the train to Peterlee.
And the lights are shining out on me,
Shining out on you,
And what wasn’t meant to be.
And the lights are shining out on me,
Shining through the windows,
Of the train to Peterlee.
And the lights are shining out on me,
Shining out on you,
And what wasn’t meant to be.
And the lights are shining out on me,
Shining through the windows,
Of the train to Peterlee.
And the lights are shining out on me,
But when you rub me off your contacts,
Is it my face that you see?
Or the person I became,
Well I hold myself to blame,
I thought your heart was in my hands,
And your world at my command.
And I’m sorry for how you felt,
And if sorry’s not working out,
Then I’ll put down the phone.
The sun is getting colder,
Each day that I remember,
Each day since that December,
You know the one I mean.
And when I stopped receiving letters,
I finally saw what you had seen in me.
Believed in me, my apologies.
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3. |
Sun Worship
04:00
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Oh unholy hour,
Please weep for me tonight,
I’ve come so far to hear your words of wisdom,
Waited here for your voice.
Oh unholy hour,
I didn’t sleep,
Well can we sleep when all our world feels so drowned?
And to feel love, to feel love,
Is something that I can’t take.
Oh unholy hour,
You better hold on to me.
And did he smile,
When you told him your name?
Did he notice when you’d left?
And did he bless you,
As he blessed so many beyond?
But if now you feel devoid of hope,
Then we both feel the same.
For to feel love, to feel love,
Is to feel pain.
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4. |
Ceremony
04:40
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Yesterday, there was blood in the ocean,
And the light there was emanating from the mountain top.
Stretching, stretching into the night sky,
And like a tiger on fire, I dreamt that I was becoming raw.
Silence, silence on the mountain,
And in secrecy meet the wild children of the unknown.
Emerging from the hole in the mountain,
Came a shadow-like sprite speaking the children’s message to us.
“Bury, bury, bury the non-believers,
Bury, bury, bury the non-believers, the deceivers.”
Encompassing the ethereal basin,
And the ringleader of the children buries his head in his hands.
And like a sudden storm of lightning,
Cracking holes in the sky, and soon the mountain is no more.
And until that moment had passed,
No sign of the wild fathers; they’re too busy now to care.
And like, like a tiger on fire,
I ripped off my skin, and dove into the ocean red.
And I don’t care what the mountain said,
I don’t care what the mountain said!
I stopped caring when the children wept back into the mountain.
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5. |
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Hate distils; tiny brackets round and round the mulberry.
Saint Joseph, weave me a gently hymn to help me sleep.
My sight is clouded, judgement impeded by matters not intended.
I’m moving inwards; grasp my fingers, only this pain.
Void, void, void, void.
Void, void, void, void.
Hate until the passing passion is gone.
Jets linger under the sun.
Flying closer, my eyeline is falling, keep me hanging.
It’s void, it’s void, void, it’s void.
Void, void, void, it’s void.
Crazy little dream, this crazy little dream I keep having,
Tear my heart out, across the water. It’s you not me.
It’s void, it’s void, it’s void, void.
It’s void, it’s void, it’s void, it’s void.
It’s void, it’s void, it’s void, it’s void.
It’s void, it’s void, it’s void, it’s void.
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6. |
Brave
03:48
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I’ve never tossed and turned at night for a girl before you,
I wish there was some way that I could say this and you’d believe me.
I’ve thought this through so many times, but the pages never turn
The way that I can see it envisioned in my eyes.
I don’t want to confuse; at the very worst I will lose
Everything I’d have fought so hard to gain.
Don’t fool me like you think you’d be able to pull one past,
I’m not that brave, I’m not that brave, but I’m in love, I’m in love.
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7. |
Prayer
05:31
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They came on horseback late last night,
Come and gone by the second light.
Still it moved us into prayer,
We became ourselves down there,
Do you stand to lose everything?
We’ll light the fire in the wood,
Talk over things like we know we should.
I bet you’ve never seen the face,
We’re standing in a sacred place,
But I’ve overdone it again.
Do you see a world for us?
Far away from here?
Calling like the monastery to prayer.
Do you see a world for us?
High up in the stars,
Always remember you are who you are.
Now I’ve got you and you’ve got no one.
If what they said was true, then we’re not the one.
I think about all the diaries I kept,
Do you think it’s time for us to accept,
We’re not as special as we think we are?
Do you see a world for us?
Far away from here?
Calling like the monastery to prayer.
Do you see a world for us?
High up in the stars,
Always remember you are who you are.
Do you see a world for us?
Far away from here?
Calling like the monastery to prayer.
Do you see a world for us?
High up in the stars,
I looked hard but it was only the clouds passing by.
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8. |
Inner Thoughts
08:37
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We’re drowning in light,
‘Cause the oceans are well sewn.
They’d put blades in their hearts,
For what you know, you know.
We’re drowning in light,
In a temple in deep space.
Buried under a mountain,
We’re here, in our place.
So why do you distrust me?
So why do you distrust me?
We’re frozen in time,
While Earth turns without us.
We can see the lines,
Of the seconds turned to hours.
I’ve never felt so strong,
And you’ve never seemed so pure.
We’ve felt it all year long,
But now we’re here, secure.
So why do you distrust me?
So why do you distrust me?
You try to lie, but you can’t hide.
We’re drowning in light,
Alone in the night.
We’re drowning in light,
Alone.
We’re under a star,
And it’s calling for me.
We’ll be united one day,
Because we’re ever free.
So why do you distrust me?
So why do you distrust me?
You try to lie, but you can’t hide.
So why do you distrust me?
So why do you distrust me?
So why do you distrust me?
So why do you distrust me?
You try to lie, but you can’t hide.
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9. |
Cobalt Blue
04:51
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You hold the water, I’ll hold the vial.
You seal the doors, I’ll steal a smile.
But while they batter us down with their guns and their words,
While they tear us apart, through the pain, through the hurt.
Bring me through bad times, I’ll make them good.
We’ll see off monsters, the way we knew we would.
The way we should isn’t there; we’ve lost sight in the rain.
So come reach me if you dare; I’ll make you human again, again…
Bobby come home, Bobby come home…
Bobby come home, Bobby come home…
You teach me peace, I’ll teach you fire.
You’ve shown me love, now see desire.
It’s not a matter of choosing, it’s a matter of hope.
I just hope it comes true, until it falls out of scope,
But there’s no hope.
So, Bobby come home, Bobby come home…
Bobby come home, Bobby come home…
And in spite of the rain, your eyes seem cobalt blue.
You reach a little higher, I wanna join you too.
So Bobby come home.
Bobby come home, Bobby come home…
Bobby come home, Bobby come home…
And in lieu of the pain, you seem brilliant and true.
It’s not a question of want; I need to join you too,
But I can’t.
Oh Bobby come home, Bobby come home…
Bobby come home, Bobby come home…
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10. |
Summer to Autumn
03:09
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The patio was alive with summer,
The trees dripped liquids into our glasses,
As the sun peaked above the valley,
That was growing, growing between us.
You told me I was stretching my mouth,
But secretly I was thinking about,
The last time your sun smiled on mine,
The last time…
And summer will to autumn,
And water will turn to wine,
And this time tomorrow,
You will not be mine.
Love at first sight, the papers cried,
By the evening print, it had already died,
I asked if I was holding on for something
I shouldn’t expect.
Well, looking up, you gave me a smile,
With the sadness of a second-born child,
And you tried but I confess,
I forced myself not to hear.
Because summer will turn to autumn,
And water will turn to wine,
And this time tomorrow,
You will not be mine,
You will not be mine…
You don’t have to be awake to see,
That all this love’s drained away from me.
You don’t have to be awake to see,
That there are no second chances left in me.
You don’t have to a watch a wilting flower,
Grab its last gasp in the final hour,
You better drop it before it becomes too much,
Then you’re stuck again, again…
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11. |
The Internet
03:02
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On the internet,
Trying to find a picture of someone new,
But I always come back to you.
Put it out of your mind, but it’s true.
And you don’t have the time, but it’s you.
And Sunday’s a long way to go,
To discover new people, but I already know,
That they’re not you,
And if not you, then who?
Who for me but you?
And I’ve tried, how I’ve tried,
To move my mind away,
It’s be easier anyway,
And it would be right to move away,
But I try and I try,
But it’s you,
I’ve been weaving songs and psalms and poems for you.
I’ve been weeping night and day for you.
On the internet,
Grasping at straws that just aren’t there,
And feeling sorry for yourself, then feeling bad that you feel sorry for yourself.
I imagine that’s what you do.
That’s what I do; that’s what you’d do.
And I’ve tried, how I’ve tried,
To move my mind away,
It’s be easier anyway,
And it would be right to move away,
But I try and I try,
But it’s you,
I’ve been weaving songs and psalms and poems for you.
I’ve been weeping night and day for you.
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12. |
You Too Are Beautiful
04:36
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I looked so hard, I didn’t notice cities sparkling,
The lights ran from work to home; it was nine, and I was tired,
And I’m so sorry that I didn’t think to look again for you.
But it was beautiful to see the people flash like fairy lights on the wall.
You too are beautiful, and you are everything I think I need to find myself.
My dear, the clouds, the clouds were turning brighter as I looked,
And behind the clouds I knew a thousand other people were shaking their heads,
At the sound of a passing jet, over their heads, into their eyes and back again.
But it was infinite when they looked up; they saw the stars and the roof of the universe.
You too are infinite, and I want to hold you as close you feel comfortable forever,
And I’m so sorry I ever had to go.
I like to take a moment sometimes to theorize; philosophize.
I value these moments in life when we sit back and shut our eyes,
And think about the times we’ve had, the chances we didn’t take.
And the moment is mine, and I don’t mean to sound foolish,
But the moment in time runs forever through my life,
And I remember the times I tried, and I realize my life depends on your life, your life.
You too are mine, I hope, and I need you to remember that it’s always for you.
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13. |
Cirrus
03:24
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You must be a monster,
You can see the lines inside my head.
I must seem so stupid,
Forget all of the things that I have said.
At night it seems so pointless,
Error after err fulfils my list.
You must be so special,
You can buy me time, but will you sell me bliss?
Hey now, hey now…
I get easily tired,
I try to hang on to lonely hearts.
I’ve lived eleven hours,
Out of them I don’t think I’ve left any scars.
But you must know the answer,
You know everything, or so they say.
I can’t wait to find you,
I have been preparing for that day.
Hey now, hey now…
Hey now, hey now…
Multitudes around around around your head.
Fire on all the others that begrudge your bed.
Am I am I a solider or am I the thorn in your side, side?
Hey now…
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14. |
What the Moon Sees
04:08
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Thursday evening, Monday feeling,
Paralysis of any hope or meaning,
Shying away from what we thought was false.
Can’t we get the night train, down to London?
Hire a boat in the morning sun,
Sail down the Thames and sing stupid songs,
That don’t mean as much as you to me.
I don’t understand, am I crushing your hand?
Do I talk all the time or not enough to you?
I truly believe that this is as it seems,
And if you’d only believe that I would rather be,
With you, and what the moon sees…
Now it’s Sunday morning, I lie awake,
Trying to let the feeling shake,
Has everything I tried to show been a waste?
Oh we’d go to galleries, and watch TV,
And laugh in parks, and pay for taxis,
And I don’t know, is there something missing?
It’s just not there; I feel you slipping.
It’s not hard to see, you were made for me.
But God how I wish it worked vice versa.
You’ll let me pass by, in the blink of an eye,
While I dream of our boat on the calming seas,
And you, and what the moon sees…
Can’t we get the night train, down to London?
Hire a boat in the morning sun,
Sail down the Thames and sing stupid songs,
That don’t mean as much as you to me.
And we’d phone up your friends, and they’d take you home,
And I’d sit in the flat on my own,
And I’d let myself dream of that calming sea,
And I’d dream of you, and what the moon sees,
I’d dream of you, you and me…
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15. |
Photograph of Me
03:23
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When you wrote the note that made me stop and stare a while,
The thought of life before all this made me smile.
But now we’re skimming stones underneath the stars,
All I feel is connection to where we are.
But the dream I had is totally irrelevant now,
The love we shared is lost to the Eastern Winds.
So when you sit and stare at the photograph of me,
Remember how I always wanted us to be.
When you sang our song, it sounded free.
When you nursed our wounds, well wait and see,
What you did to me.
When you threw the torch we burnt onto the temple’s floor,
And swore we’d never speak of this again.
I didn’t think that you would still be here with me,
By the waterfall just hanging off the edge.
What we didn’t take into account is just how loud,
The storming of the battlefields could ever be,
So when you find yourself with a photograph of me,
Remember how I always wanted us to be.
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16. |
My Apple My Always
04:24
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What wouldn’t I give to have one day in bliss?
What could I have done to deserve this?
Why are you always so sad?
Help me support myself.
Give my world some greater meaning.
All I want is you more often.
And your head to rest on my shoulder,
And talk sometimes while I am sleeping.
And if you heard, why won’t you answer?
And if you turn, you won’t remember me.
And your head to rest on my shoulder,
And talk sometimes while I am sleeping.
And if you heard, why won’t you answer?
And if you turn, you won’t remember me.
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17. |
Last Ride Home
04:15
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Sailing through the petals on the water,
Eyes awake and thoughts asleep for days.
Photographs of dreams we had together,
I remember being far away.
We tried to reclaim the sun,
New undertones came into light.
We heard voices far away,
As we stepped into the night.
I remember meeting you by the waterfall,
On the edge of space and time.
And now the atom has imploded,
We can finally say goodbye.
We thought we knew it all,
But there was always something underneath.
Every light flickered in the hall,
As we held on to the memory of our last ride home.
In the land we spoke of once,
Is where we make our final rest.
In the palace of the apes,
Where our faithlessness is put to the test.
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18. |
Hold Me Love
04:22
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19. |
I Think
06:15
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I think that we'll be safe here,
At least that's what I'm told.
I think that I can live here
And I think I wanna live with you.
I think we will remain here,
I think, at least, I know,
I don't have to remember
If I've nowhere really to go.
And I think that we are reasoned,
And I think that we've gone too far,
And I think that I'm in love now,
But it doesn't matter anyhow.
And it doesn't matter anyhow,
It doesn't matter anyhow,
It doesn't matter anyhow,
It doesn't matter anyhow.
I think we've found the place where
We've reason to be known.
I think we'll go together
And I think that's how we'll go.
But it doesn't matter anyhow.
And it's another 300 years here
To remember what I once forgot.
And I don't even think that I belong here,
And I'd rather be something than something I am not.
But it doesn't matter anyhow,
No it doesn't matter anyhow,
No it doesn't matter anyhow.
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20. |
Moving into the River
03:41
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Drown, now and then, but a moment of love,
And a summer that you can’t send up this to see the thought,
Driving over your sense, tell you what you wanted,
But you know it isn’t that, and now,
Don’t you wonder why you’re always so tired?
You set yourself down by the river, and the river,
That leads to the only place that you’ve ever called home.
Beat up, sat down by the river, by the river,
That said you won’t, said you want, and no we won’t and no!
When the time comes, you’ll be alone by yourself,
Beside the river that leads to the place that you called home.
She’s gonna beat you all to death with a plastic fork,
And let, let me tell you where you bet you’ve ever guarded,
But it doesn’t matter now, and all the states of your control,
You’re in a state of total control, total control, total control!
But it isn’t you and it isn’t me.
You’re in a state of total control, it’s out of control.
But it isn’t you and it isn’t me.
But it isn’t you and it isn’t me.
And everything’s just moving away,
Just moving away,
Gives you space and time to think about all the things that you left,
The things that you left,
As you set yourself down by the river,
Leading to the only place that you ever called home.
Call home, call home, call home, call home…
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21. |
Regardless
02:56
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We both like to think we’re stars,
Both of us are sure we are at least in our mother’s hearts.
Regardless of what they say,
We know we’ll quit this place one day in our separate ways.
I am always quick to ask,
And you are always quick to say that you’ve found him.
And while away the rest of the day,
Talking about your hopes for him; I listen in.
I don’t mean to depress you,
But we both know that he’ll never understand,
And I don’t mean to alarm you,
But you know there’s someone easier close at hand.
And it’s a shame that you don’t see it,
But I’ll be waiting here for you regardless.
I noticed something delicate,
In the manner you composed yourself or rather didn’t.
I brushed it off as something good,
In the thought that you never would even recall me.
I value all the time we have,
Too much I think, it hurts my head when I feel that wrong.
I just need to accept that you,
Probably haven’t got this far into the song.
Just got bored…
I don’t mean to confuse you,
As I wish I had the courage to say it plain.
And I don’t mean to amuse you,
Please believe these words; I can’t repeat them to your face.
It’s a shame that you won’t see it,
But forever I’ll be there for you regardless.
I know I’m not what you asked for,
But I’m always waiting here for you regardless…
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22. |
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When the door swings open,
And out walks the one,
And the lights are all broken,
So you pray by the sun.
I will be on starter’s orders,
I will be your lone gun.
When the night leaves you lonely,
And your bed turns to stone,
And the outline on the mattress,
Is just a memory of time gone.
That’s when you will understand,
That’s when you will see,
That no matter what the circumstance,
With you I will be,
Waiting for the morning to come.
When the air’s disturbed atoms,
Where you used to play,
Have fallen back into order,
Settled, but not quite the same.
When everything that used to be is long gone away.
When dreams don’t stop to comfort,
When sleep won’t stay too long,
You wish he’d outstayed your welcome,
But it had only just begun.
Well I will be a helping hand,
A comrade to the end,
In spirit I’ll be by your side,
You know you’re more than just a friend,
Waiting for the morning to come.
Don’t believe them,
When they turn your head and say,
Love, love is fleeting,
And it’ll soon evolve again.
They tell you to forget,
Is the same as to move on,
So put your hand in mine,
And we’ll strive to prove them wrong,
And we’ll wait for the morning to come.
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Toby Jackson York, UK
Toby Jackson is a singer-songwriter in York, but also Cambridge.
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