Now You've Lost a Friend

from Hoard by Toby Jackson

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about

This song started life as an improvised jam, which sounds offputting even to me. It's travelled a fair distance since then.

lyrics

Is it over this soon?
The pictures that I took of you,
Now they decorate the floor of my room,
As I stare into computer screens and try to remember what I first saw in you,
But secretly we knew this was a dream.

But it frustrates me when I think,
And think what might have been,
And you know deep inside I think I still need you.

I still go there in my head,
To a world where I was never more sure,
And now I see you together,
And it reminds me for a fleeting moment,
All the memories we had together,
Where I looked at you,
And you, you looked straight through.

And I’d accept that I have lost,
But that means that you won,
And I’m just not comfortable with that outcome.

Now you’ve lost a friend, a partner,
Now you’ve lost a friend.

And the repercussions paralysed me,
For days on end I couldn’t eat,
Like I saw something that turned me away,
And turned you into something you were not,
And turned you into another brother’s arms.

What I wouldn’t give,
And what I don’t even need to say,
I really wish, really wish,
For just one more day, or maybe four,
Or maybe a score more.
But if I pretend that I’m still satisfied,
Would you take another look into my eyes?

There’s something else,
You know that I thought there was something else,
Something else that I forgot to say.

Now you’ve lost a friend…

credits

from Hoard, released January 7, 2015

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about

Toby Jackson York, UK

Toby Jackson is a singer-songwriter in York, but also Cambridge.

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